A Matter of Fate Page 16

  Karl, unlike my mother, does seem to care enough to help, even though he’s clearly confused and a bit uncomfortable. “He’s talked to you about it?”

  “No.” I clear my throat. “We haven’t spoken to one another in over a year now.”

  Slowly, “I wasn’t aware that you two have known each other that long.”

  I finish the cocoa and push the mug away. “Longer.”

  Karl’s clearly surprised.

  “He’s upset,” I tell my friend, “because of me.”

  “Upset.”

  “Hurt,” I clarify quietly.

  Jonah’s never specifically told me this, of course. All I have to go on is our shared history, the feelings I have for him and the ones I am confident he has for me, even now, even still, and the knowledge that he’d come to California for me only to be slapped in the face with me inexplicably dating his brother.

  And then there’s Karl. His loyalty to Jonah and Kellan has long superseded what he feels toward me. I know I’m more to Karl than simply an assignment, but I also know that they are two of his oldest, dearest friends. But rather than judging me like I figure he would, or even should, Karl says instead, “What’s really going on, Chloe?”

  The words pour out. “I’m confused. Scared. Unsure of what to do. Unsure of what’s going on.”

  He drums his fingers silently against the tile. “Exactly how long have you and Jonah known each other?”

  I look back down at the cat, still winking at me in mocking judgment. “All my life.”

  “How long have you known Kellan?”

  “Two months.”

  “Did you meet Jonah in your dreams?”

  My eyes fly up to meet his. He’s serious. Oh my goodness, he’s absolutely serious. How does he know?

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says calmly. Then he pulls out his cell phone. “I’m going to call a friend of mine in the Guard and ask her to come and have a visit with us.”

  “Um . . . okay?”

  “While I have my opinions and ideas about this,” he waves a hand at me, as if painting a picture of my troubles, “I think you might want to talk to Kiah Redrock first.”

  “Who?”

  “The best Dreamer I know,” he says as he scrolls through his contacts list.

  Chapter 21

  Lizzie’s called the Cousins together, saying she has something important to share. Alex is annoyed to be pulled away from my father’s library; Meg is annoyed in solidarity with Alex, even though it’s obvious she’s dying of curiosity. Cora and I proceed with caution when Lizzie ushers us into my bedroom.

  She’s atypically nervous and excited at the same time after shutting the door, talking fast while pacing restlessly from one end of the room to the other. “First off, I want you to all keep an open mind about what I’m about to say.”

  Cora and I exchange an amused glance. Lizzie is so rarely rattled that it’s always fun to watch her when she is.

  She blows out a breath that makes her wispy bangs float around. “I . . . uh . . . finally hooked up with Graham.”

  Meg snaps to attention—Joy or no, she adores gossip. She squeals, “When?”

  Cora sticks a finger in one ear. “Damn, Meg. Calm down.” To Lizzie, she says, “This is why we’re behind a locked door? Because you and the Quarterback King finally gave into six years’ worth of sexual tension and flirting?”

  “What’s this about sex?” Alex’s expression is hilariously thunderous. He likes to see himself, gangly and nerdy as he is, as our protector.

  “There’s no sex,” Lizzie says. “We’re not talking about sex.”

  “Pity,” Cora murmurs, stretching out on my bed. “It’d be nicer if we were.”

  Lizzie ignores this. “As I was saying, Graham and I went to the movies last week, and . . . things happened. It was really good—nice, you know?”

  “Nice?” Meg demands. “You make out with Graham, and it’s only nice?”

  “The Joy has a point,” Cora says.

  This gets more of Alex’s attention. “You two were making out at the movies?”

  “Oh, for gods’ sakes!” Meg snaps. “If you want to know the details, listen the first time so we don’t have to keep repeating things!”

  Lizzie, Cora, and I all stare at her. Meg never snaps at Alex, because snapping would be counterproductive to her never-ending attempt at seduction.

  “Anyways,” Lizzie finally continues, “I realized that I really, really like him.”

  “No shit, Sherlock,” Cora mutters.

  “And, I know he’s not a Magical, but . . . I really think it shouldn’t matter. It, in fact, doesn’t matter to me anymore. It’s stupid that we’re expected to only fall in love with another Magical.”

  “Er,” Alex begins, but Meg shushes him.

  Lizzie is near tears. “I love him. He’s a good guy. Smart, caring . . . .”

  “No need to list Graham’s qualities to us,” Cora says. “All of us dig the big lug, too.” This is surprisingly sweet and supportive coming from Cora.

  Lizzie smiles gratefully. “And I think, that sometimes you can just tell if someone is right for you. In their kiss, you know? When it touches you in the heart and the toes and the tips of your fingers. Where you can feel it in every strand of hair and heartbeat.”

  “Whoa,” Meg whispers, eyes wide.

  “It’s all there with him. He’s it. He’s the one.”

  Alex frowns. “You mean the one right now.”

  But Lizzie shakes her head. “The one.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Seventeen is too young to know about forever, unless you have a Connection.”

  Alex knows about Connections? Since when?

  “I know, Alex. I want to be with him. Without secrets.” Lizzie puts her hands out, as if she’s pleading some sort of case with us.

  Secrets. Wait—what?

  Meg beats me to the punch. “I’m so very glad that you’re finally with Graham, but when you say secrets, you can’t possibly mean telling him about us, right?”

  Lizzie smoothes out imaginary wrinkles in her skirt. “I already have.”

  There’s a moment in which all sound in the room dies, in which there’s no motion other than Lizzie’s elegant hands moving over the blue cotton of her skirt. And then, all four of us stand up, as if on cue.

  “You told Graham?” The thunderous look Alex had earlier transforms into a murderous one. “Dammit, Lizzie, it’s forbidden!”

  Her chin juts out. “It’s a stupid rule.”

  “But a necessary one!” Cora exclaims, grabbing onto my arm like I’ll somehow keep her upright over the strain of surprise. “Think about what’s happened in the past to our kind, when it gets out what we are. Think about how many Magicals have been hunted, murdered!”

  “This is Graham we’re talking about,” Lizzie insists, as if this is enough of an explanation.

  Alex’s face turns dark red. “I don’t care if it’s the flipping Queen of England! If it’s discovered that you’ve blabbed, Lizzie, you will be disciplined. Do you understand that?”

  Her lower lip trembles as her confidence fails. “I love him.”

  “Did you even stop to think what will happen to Graham if it’s discovered he knows?” Alex persists. “You think the Council or Guard will let him be? Think again, Lizzie. Dammit! I thought you were the sensible one of this group!”

  “Hey now,” Cora protests.

  I go over to Lizzie and put my arm around her slender shoulders. Her eyes are glassy. “Everyone calm down for a moment. Does he know only about you?”

  My heart drops out of my chest when she shakes her head.

  “You told him about all of us?” Meg screeches.

  Lizzie flinches against my arm. “I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”

  Alex is shaking now. “You . . . I can’t . . . .” And then he storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Meg looks at the door and then at Lizzie, her eyes filled with accusations of b
etrayal. She turns on her heels and rushes out after Alex.

  That leaves me and Cora behind. And Cora isn’t happy in the slightest. “He’s just a guy, Lizzie. A non we go to high school with. When you move to Annar at the end of summer, he’ll be gone. I don’t give a rat’s ass if you want to have something with him until then. Go for it, I say. But you telling him about us? That’s bullshit! You’ve betrayed our kind over a guy. Worse, you betrayed the people who’ve always been here for you. You just sold us out. And if things go south with him, what then? You ever think of those consequences?”

  The tears finally begin to fall. “I’m sorry, Cora. I really thought this was the right thing to do.”

  “It was the very opposite of right.” And then Cora leaves, too.

  Lizzie turns to me, lower lip still trembling, tears streaking her alabaster cheeks. Remembering my horrible choices lately, and of how I am in no place to judge, and how love is a difficult thing to control at times, I simply fold her into my arms.

  As she sobs, I debate what to do about Graham. On one hand, he’s a good guy, and I’ve always been able to trust him in the past. On the other hand . . . well, who could blame him if he freaked out over learning about Magicals? For all I know, he could be secretly plotting to turn us over to the government for experimentation.

  “Lizzie,” I say softly, stroking her hair, “I really think it’s important to talk to Graham and hear what he has to say about all of this.”

  She wipes her nose. “Okay. If you think it’ll assure everyone.”

  I know no one else will be willing to speak to him. Just minutes ago, they’d all been talking about Graham like he’s now the enemy. “It’ll be just me. But . . . if it’s okay, I’d like to ask Kellan to come over, too.”

  Her eyes ask a silent question.

  “I’m a Creator, and while I can build pretty much anything, I’m no good at sensing lies. Kellan can, though. He’ll be able to tell right away if Graham accepts what you’ve told him. And . . . if he doesn’t . . . then . . . .

  Lizzie ends up crying even harder.

  An hour later, Kellan and I discuss this in the backyard, outside of Karl and Lizzie’s earshot. I give him permission to take the memory through surging, so he can see exactly what Lizzie’s told me. He’s thoughtful for a long time before speaking. “The truth?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’m pretty pissed off myself that she did such a stupid thing.” He says this, but you’d never know it by looking at him. He’s still ridiculously calm.

  “That’s fair. But what’s done is done. We can only try to make the best of the situation.”

  “I like Graham,” he says. “I even consider him to be a friend. But . . . this is a lot for a non to handle. Even someone as easygoing as Graham.”

  “I agree. That’s why I want you with me when I talk to him.” The implication, of course, is that Graham will either assume that Kellan also knows about Magicals or that he, too, is one. Either way, I’m asking a lot of Kellan, asking him to risk his, and Jonah’s, safety. It’s not something I’m doing lightly—because I’ve come to realize their safety and welfare are paramount to me. But I owe this to Lizzie. She’s stood by me over the years and has offered her support time and time again when my parents didn’t.

  “Chloe, if I’m to be there—and I agree I should be—I need you to understand that if I sense even the smallest inclination toward Graham spilling what he knows, I will neutralize him. And I’ll do it in a way that’ll ensure he never talks to or comes near any of us again.”

  I dislike the thought of this happening, but I completely understand the reasoning. “Alex said something about Lizzie being punished if it’s discovered?”

  He pulls me over to the picnic bench so we can sit down. “I’ve seen this happen twice before, and both times the punishment was the same. The non’s mind was wiped clean and the Magical ordered to never see them again. One followed the rules. The other didn’t and was forced to remain in Annar, under house arrest, and never go back to his home plane.”

  I look up toward my bedroom window. Lizzie’s still up there, probably alternating between crying and sleep.

  “I’m assuming you haven’t told Karl yet.”

  “I considered it,” I admit, “but I wanted to come to you first.” And the reason for that is surprisingly clear. Two months for some couples is barely enough time to know each other’s likes and dislikes. Nearly two months with Kellan is like two years for me. I know him. I trust him. I love him.

  I’m in love with him, just like I’m in love with his brother.

  I batten down the guilt and longing, sadness, and regret as I sit there, holding hands with Jonah’s brother. I often wonder if Kellan senses these conflicting emotions in me whenever I think of Jonah or see him. I wonder what he thinks they come from, and if he can tell or know they’re directly related to his brother.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, much concern in his voice.

  I look away from my bedroom window and back at Kellan. I don’t necessarily lie to him, but I say, “I feel bad for Lizzie. She loves Graham . . . and love sometimes makes people do unexplainable things.”

  “I agree,” he murmurs, and then he kisses me. There is sweetness on his lips, and promises. “Because, even though I’m supposed to report her to the Guard right away, I’m going to help you instead.”

  Graham is clearly nervous as he sits down. We’re back in my bedroom—just me, Kellan, Lizzie, and Graham. The Cousins have already left, and Karl is in the kitchen downstairs, talking to Moira. Every night they webcam each other for at least an hour, so we figure we have enough time to deal with Graham without being discovered.

  Lizzie sits next to him, clutching his hand. Her eyes are red, her lips tight. For his part, Graham doesn’t seem to be nervous around Lizzie. He’s holding onto her hand just as tightly as she’s holding onto his. I wonder what Lizzie’s told him about me, about what I can do. If he knows that I’m capable of destruction as well as beauty. If he knows Cora can save a life and yet kill millions after unleashing viruses. If he’s aware that Lizzie will inspire artists to brilliance yet at the same time have the ability to damn them to madness over their art. Or what he’d think if he knew Kellan can inspire the greatest of loves and yet make some men the cruelest of murderers.

  “I told Chloe that I explained everything to you,” Lizzie says—and it surprises me that her voice is firm, not hesitant. Not like she’d been with the Cousins. “But she wanted to talk to you to make sure that . . . .”

  The corners of Graham’s lips curl up. “That I don’t squeal?”

  I stay on my side of the room, afraid to scare him too much. “Do you mind if I ask what you know about me?”

  At least he’s not outwardly regarding me as a freak. “She said that you’re something called a Magical. And that you can make things—anything you want.”

  “Well, not anything,” I murmur, thinking of the three things I know I am absolutely unable to make. Through experimentation over the years, I’ve discovered I can’t create food, water, or money, which I guess is Fate’s way of ensuring I’m not omnipotent. “How do you feel about all of this?”

  Graham thinks about this, scratching his chin. “I won’t lie—I was freaked out at first. I think anyone would feel . . . surprised . . . if they discovered that fairy tales are real.”

  Lizzie flushes guiltily. “I may have told him quite a bit.”

  I turn back to Kellan, who looks rather bored, but I know better. He’s carefully studying Graham. “Like what?” I ask.

  She sighs. “I told him everything.”

  I briefly close my eyes. “Everything.”

  “Yes,” she says defensively. “About Magicals, the different species, the different planes, Ascension, Annar, going to school there, assignments—everything.”

  I don’t know what to say. I’m so bowled over all I can do is gape at her first, then at Graham, and then turn to Kellan. I ask quietly, “Did the other two y
ou told me about go this far?”

  “No,” Kellan tells me.

  Fabulous. “Will the punishment be the same or worse?”

  He doesn’t say anything, but I can see the answer plain as day in his eyes. I reach up and rub my own. “Is there anything else that we ought to know, Lizzie?” he asks.

  Her eyes flick briefly toward Kellan. “It’s like I said. I told him everything. About everyone.”

  A wave of crushing disappointment and anger washes over me. “You didn’t have that right! It’s one thing to risk yourself, another thing to risk your family. But you had no right to risk anyone else.”

  “But—”

  I am unmoved. “How dare you!”

  “Chloe,” Kellan says calmly from behind me, “you don’t have to worry about me.”

  “I don’t like the secrets anymore,” she snaps, giving me a meaningful look that is easy to interpret: Unlike your secrets.

  Before I unleash a basketful of anger on her, Kellan’s arm slides around my shoulders. Graham stands up next to Lizzie, assuming the same position. “Kellan,” he says, trying to sound cool, but it’s no use—he’s obviously nervous. “Is there any way for me to . . . I don’t know . . . deflect what you’re going to do to me?”

  Lizzie must finally realize why I’ve really called Kellan over, because she starts crying again.

  “If there was, do you think I’d tell?” Kellan asks, amused.

  “Is anyone immune?” Graham asks.

  Kellan shakes his head.

  “Any way to reverse it?”

  “If another Emotional were to influence you, then yes. But it’s not a potion, Graham. It doesn’t wear off over time. If I influence you, that’s how it’ll be until I decide differently.”

  Graham nods, biting his lip. Lizzie grips his arm. “Chloe,” she says, low and urgent, “I know you’re upset, and . . . and . . . I get that what I’ve done isn’t allowed . . . .”

  “It’s illegal,” I say hotly. “And for good reason.”

  “I know. But . . . you know Graham!” She turns to her boyfriend. “She knows you! You wouldn’t tell, would you? You’d never tell, right?”